Forty two
by Alia Rubrik
Summary: Sasuke and Naruto ponder life's mysteries. In the midst of a battlefield. Whilst high on weed.


**The idea was bothering me, and wouldn't leave me alone until I wrote it down. Hello exhaustion. On another note, I'm actually trying to be funny here, which feels odd. I'm not use to writing 'funny,' so please excuse my atrocious attempts at humour.**

**Dedication: PicassaWithCaramell. You've dedicated stories to me, and I'm here to return the favour :D**

**Disclaimer: If I owned Naruto, I wouldn't be looking for a job now, would I?**

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><p><strong>.:{+}:.<strong>

There he was, golden mop flying like an annoying halo, in the midst of battle. Sasuke stopped in his tracks for a moment and smirked, surveying the scene. The idiot really hadn't changed, and that would be his downfall. Sasuke could feel the power of Itachi's eyes seeping through his body, and he lazily withdrew his katana from where it rested in the rope belt at his waist.

Sharingan activated, Sasuke could see every minute detail before him. There was no haze, and no questions. His task was clear: kill Naruto, and any previous bonds he may have had. Sakura, Kakashi; they all had to die.

As if sensing his killer intent, Naruto turned his head to stare Sasuke directly in the eye. A triumphant, joyous look lit up his face, and he fought his way out of the main battle to stand before the Uchiha.

"Teme," Naruto acknowledged with a nod of his head.

Apart from the narrowing of his eyes, Sasuke didn't give any indication that he'd heard Naruto at all, and with lightning speed, he lunged forward, aiming to kill.

But Naruto blocked him.

Confusion flitted through his mind for a second, wondering how Naruto could have possibly blocked that. Even someone with a fully evolved Sharingan would have most likely failed. He was quick to attribute it to the inferno of chakra coursing through the boy, and attacked again, giving Naruto barely a breath of time to collect himself.

But the blond blocked him _again_.

And again.

And again.

_And again!_

He continued to attack, sweat pooling at his porcelain brow as he forced Naruto _back, back, back_. They cleared the outskirts of the forest, and slowly Sasuke forced Naruto further into the confined space, hoping that it would hinder Naruto's movements and _finally_ give Sasuke the upper hand. Even with such a cesspool of chakra, Naruto lacked the fluidity and grace that came so naturally to Sasuke.

But even in the ever-encroaching forest, Naruto was _still_ able to hold his ground! Frustrated at how long it was taking to kill Naruto, Sasuke made a particularly powerful blow at the blond, which sent him skidding back a few metres. Using Naruto's recovery time, Sasuke quickly activated the particular jutsu in his Sharingan which released a giant wave of Amaterasu. He was vaguely aware of shocked screams and the thunder of retreating feet as the other ninja's sought refuge from the heat, but that wasn't what was annoying him.

The idiot was still _alive_.

Little did Sasuke know that the particular part of forest he had set alight was filled with marijuana, and its fumes were quickly dissipating into the air.

Within a few minutes he could barely walk straight, and he stumbled through the forest, cursing his inability to move properly. The black fire had started to disperse at Sasuke's will, but he wasn't able to control it as he normally would be able to. He was able to redirect the last of it away from him, before he slumped down at the base of an intact tree. The small, rational part of his brain that wasn't intoxicated was screaming at him that something was _definitely wrong,_ but the majority of his mind squashed the rational voice, and screamed out how… how tranquil he felt.

"Yo Sasuke." Sasuke lifted his head up lazily to the source of the voice, and found Naruto sitting on a large branch, one leg swinging back and forth, back and forth, like a metronome. Or… or a pendulum. "Sass-kay… Sassy… cakes… Saucy coo… Coo-coo-ca-chew… choo," Naruto crowed, laughing his head off. "Hey Saucy-cake, you're a train!"

Normally Sasuke would have scowled and/or killed, but why kill when you can shrug, y'know?

"Dobe, you're a fucking sauce."

"Hey Sasuke?" Naruto continued, as if he hadn't heard Sasuke's comment. "What's the point in war?"

Sasuke was stumped. "I… I dunno dude," he replied honestly.

"Like, if you ask that, you can ask anything, like… Like what's the point in living? What's the point in life?"

"What's the point in ramen?" Sasuke offered.

"**Don't you dare say that, Sassy!"** Naruto screeched, pointing an accusing finger at the raven haired man. "Ramen is **everything! **Ramen is like… Like _life_."

"Dude, I've… I've been thinking," Sasuke began, his words slurring together. "If ramen is _like_ life, then what _is_ life? Like… like, what's the meaning of life?"

They sat in silence for a minute, Naruto scratching his head, deep in intoxicated thought, Sasuke doing the same but without the head-scratching part.

"Holy shit, Sassy!" Naruto suddenly cried. "I… I think I know it! Like, the meaning of life, I mean! It's like, so obvious, but… but _not_, y'know?"

Sasuke nodded. "I feel ya dude."

"Sasuke," Naruto continued. "I… I think it's forty two."

Sasuke raised his head to look at where Naruto sat in the tree, completely shell-shocked. "That's deep, dude."

A round of silence passed as they drank in the revelation, before Naruto spoke again. "Hey Sassy, do you… Do you love anyone?"

Sasuke's brow creased in thought. "I… I think I love my brother, but… but I dunno…"

Naruto nodded. "'Cos… 'Cos I don't think I'm in love with Sakura Chan anymore, and like… that sorta thing _hurts_, Sassy. 'Cos… 'Cos I was meant to marry her, y'know? But like… I can't do that now, 'cos I don't love her no more, Sassy. It's like… like left this huge hole right here in my chest."

"That'd hurt, dobe."

"But like… it's not in my heart or nothin'. It's like… it's like up here near my shoulder."

Sasuke looked up at Naruto again, before pointing out the obvious. "That's a kunai, dude."

"Oh." Naruto grabbed the handle of the kunai and tugged it from his shoulder. "That feels better," he sighed. "Girls are so stupid," he quipped, leaning back against the tree. "I mean like… Sakura Chan didn't love me, but like… then she did… and then she tried to kill you, and didn't love me no more. What's up with that? But then Hinata Chan said that she loved me, and it was so weird, because like… then she died, but she didn't, y'know? What is it with girls and loving someone, then death?"

Sasuke shook his head in puzzlement. "Dude, I think that girls find me attractive."

"What the fuck, Sassy? You're like… not hot. And I'm like a guy, so I like… _know_."

"I _know_. But like… I get this weird sorta… sorta _vibe_ from them, and they'll try and like… put their mouth on mine. It's so weird, dobe."

Naruto nodded his head, his eyes drooping. "Yeah, they've been following you since like, when you were all little, y'know? They're as obsessed with you as you are with like… revenge."

Sasuke leaned back and closed his eyes. "Dude, I've been thinking."

"Shit."

"What if revenge… what if revenge is like… not the answer? What if revenge is like… like the _question_, and then you can like… like choose your answer?"

"Sasssssy," Naruto cooed. "That's like… _deep._" Without warning, Naruto sat bolt upright, staring straight at the sky. "Sassy, what if… what if we're like _not real_. What if we're like… like characters in like – like a book, or a manga? What if we're like, just part of this whole person's imagination?"

Sasuke lifted his head to look at the sky. "That's… that's pretty messed up, dude."

"I… I think I see it, Sassy. Like… I think I see his pen."

"That's a cloud, dobe."

"Oh."

"…"

"Sassy, I… I think I can feel the world spinning. Holy shit Sassy, it's spinning so quick, it's like… like a killer merry-go-round…"

"What do you want me to do?"

"Hold me. Like, just - just put your arm around my shoulder…"

With a loud _thud_, Naruto dropped to the ground, and Sasuke in his intoxicated stupor crawled over to him.

"Like… like this?" He awkwardly placed his hand on Naruto's shoulder, and immediately Naruto sighed in bliss.

"Yeah, like… like that, Sassy. A… a little to the left… back… yeah, right there."

"My hand is still on your shoulder, dobe."

Naruto let out an annoyed grunt. "It's all about position, Sassy! God you're so stupid!"

**.:{+}:.**

Sakura and Kakashi stood at the edge of the clearing, one extremely amused and the other in a shocked stupor.

"They're high, aren't they?" Sakura asked.

"Yep," Kakashi agreed.

"… Shit."

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**Much love, SapphireRivulet xox**


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